Information from British Council before leaving London, also a briefing meeting with a young Maldivian who was studying in England at that time.
MEMOIR OF MALDIVES - SUMMER 1985 by P. A. P. LUMLEY (British Council Consultant)
I had intended writing home to parents as usual but, with no time to spare, I took to scribbling notes in small notebooks.
1.Departure “I wouldn’t do that If I were you”, Says black cab driver
To airport porter,
“You’ll get a hernia.”
Twenty-four kilos of
Excess baggage granted.
Must remember to give tips,
And collect receipts.
Tiring business This executive travel.
2. Departure Board
As BA Flight 3033 persistently Refuses to flash red, Counter clerk whispers To another, “Think it’s still in the hangar. We’ve got no plane.” Meanwhile the wheelchair shuttle Rolls on, Chairs full of grey, old grannies, Huddled in fawn macs And leg bandages, Wheeled on, heading for Australia, And New Zealand.
3. Ever, Ever Land
Enter the Ever, Ever Land Of flashing night lights below In the rain-dropped airport.
4.3.14 am
Awake to smoke-haze In non- smoking area. Dust over the desert! View far below from Huge Tristar window.!
5.Bahrein
36 degrees, mildly humid, Cement- grey haze, Experimental palm farms. Modern, cheap, duty free terminal. Wander amidst Men in long white frocks, Women veiled in black shrouds, Indiscriminately exposing Gorgeously embroidered hems. Tiny girls in equally gorgeous Long, lacy-frilled gowns, All draped over lounge chairs. Air hostess groans to steward, “Give me a Lomotil sandwich, Sure I lost half a stone last week, In Dohar.”
6. Sky Blue Feel like a layered pupa, Stripping its skin, To let ‘the new me’ in, To sky blue sunshine, Caressing speeding Tristar.
7. Reminder Dohar Airport, ‘It is strictly forbidden To take in alcohol And strictly forbidden To take photographs.’
8. Pidgin Sri Lankan neighbour, “You me write” – Thrusts over landing card. I Complete it with difficulty, Respond in pidgin English, “Me no go off Qatar, Me go Sri Lanka.” “Thenk you.”
9. Dohar
90 degrees, Black dusty desert airport, Small, aggressive military planes, Smartly dressed young oil men, Berobed men of the desert, Disembark.
10. Turbulence Turbulence over The Indian Ocean Whirls up The imminent necessity To clarify my aims Since flying Executive.
11. Calming
Classical music wafts through cabin, Creating an aura of calm, As plane dips and darts through Grey clouds, glimpses of Green fields, woods and water, Much bright, sparkling water.
12.Homecoming
Down towards palm trees,
Thatched huts,
Children racing below.
A sudden flashback,
First view of a line of palm trees,
Long ago Singapore Airport.
Now,
Colombo Airport, Sri Lanka,
A man with a twig broom,
Sweeps the runway.
13. Flight with Air Lanka
Pretty brown hostesses,
In dazzling scarlet saris ,
With peacock feather pattern.
Stewards in conservative ,
Blue short sleeves and
Slim, trim navy trousers.
14. Pre- Departure
Window seat, again,
Perfect to watch the unscrewing and
Screwing up of a few nuts and bolts,
Under the wing,
Beneath my window,
Pre-departure for Male,
Capital of Maldives.
“Welcome on board
Air Lanka Flight 104…
Sorry…101”
Repeated four times over.
First view of a Maldivian atoll.
Male, Capital of the Maldive Islands.
15.Republic of Maldives
Import requirements
NO
1 Alcoholic drinks of any quantity.
2 Dogs
3. Pigs or pork
4 Statues used for worship
5 Nude or pornographic material
6 Gunpowder or explosives
7 Weapons or firearms
8. Opium, ganja, cocaine, all other narcotic items that could be used as intoxicants.
A dhoni - a typical Maldivian fishing boat
16. Male – First Day
On meeting expat group
At the quayside to depart
For an island, introduce myself
To one young man.
“Oh, you’re Miss Penelope Lumley.
The announcer on National TV,
Announced that you’d
Flown in today,
Sponsored by British Council,
To organise two educational workshops.
She couldn’t read it properly,
And the picture kept fading,
But it was you.”
Damn!
I missed it!
17.Aboard
Aboard boat to an island,
VSO organiser proclaims,
“Oh, you’re Lumley.
Been sending and receiving
All your telexes.
Know all about you.”
18. Resort
Landing stage of resort island,
Awaiting arrival of return boat.
Seek teaching aids from
VSO organiser.
“You’re my best resort.”
19. Bristle Board
Bristling on Bookshop shelves,
Bristling with a desire,
To be bought and
Inscribed upon.
20. Roped In
Don’t think there was time
For jet lag or culture shock,
The meetings began
At the airport,
Time flew,
No floating. No drifting.
Roped in
Immediately.
21. Headlines
I hit the headlines today,
In ‘Haveeru’,
The English language daily with the
Largest circulation in the Maldives.
There was I alongside,
‘Barri Rejects Proposal’,
‘American TWA Hostages
In Beirut.’
‘Nepal can never be
The same again,
Wave of bombings has
Shattered the kingdom.’
‘Floods remain a threat,
Critical situation in Bangladesh.’
‘Workshops to be held
In Male next month.
An expert on
Primary School Teaching,
Sent by the British Council,
Is at present in Male,
In connection with
The workshops.’
22. Right Order
7.00 am, me in a haze,
Matched equally by
A certain waiter in
Sosunge Guest House.
Not eating full breakfast
So give my order slowly.
“You write,”says he.
Return to room
To find pen and paper.
Write – Lumley Room 5,
Breakfast :
Lime juice
Papaya
1 toast
Coffee.
“5 lime juice?”
“No, 1 please.”
When in doubt,
Be flexible.
He brings :
Orange juice, 2 and a half toast.
“Request butter and jam.”
“Omlette?”
Right clear to me,
I’ll have to learn
To write Divehi!
23.Cable
In desperation
To contact home,
Send a cable:
‘Arrived safely.
Busy.’
“Very economical,”
Says my local
British Council
Counterpart.
24.Malean Map
The simplest street map
Since Rome.
The reality – white walls,
Coral sand roads,
Craters of moonscape proportions,
To be memorized intimately
On dry days if to avoid
Danger of inadvertently drowning
If side-slip into a newly-created
Monsoon lagoon,
Rain flung from a bucket in the sky.
Cling to the shade of bougainvillea
Flowers creeping over white walls,
In puddle transit,
Alone amidst Divehi language,
Lost!
No energy to walk
To the sea
In search of a landmark.
Male, a very small island.
Make it back home.
25. Ring, Ring
In Sosunge Guest House.
My phone rings .
I pick it up.
“Please can you send
The room service boy
To Room Number 1?”
“No, sorry,
This is Room Number 5.”
26.Coral Reef
Better corral,
The gems of ideas,
With a reef knot
Not let them
Float adrift.
27. Remember
You’ve got to sink,
Before you can float.
28.President’s Private Secretary
A politically-minded journalist
Of much mini - state experience.
“This must be the last
Truly eccentric place
On earth,”says John.
“Why?” I ask, “Its style?
‘Domani?’, ‘Gestern?’”
“No, rather more ‘Today’,
Or,
‘Now, let’s work together
And do it immediately.’”
“Successful?”says I.
“Yes – three days and nights
Painting houses for
An important occasion.
No – Opening of the
Islamic Cultural Centre.
All going smoothly preparing
Grand ceremonial dinner for
Two hundred guests when
He, P.P.S., was asked to lay out
The name tags. “No!” said he.
All tipped on the floor. Picked up,
They did the main table with
Problems,
Men refusing to sit
Next to women.
Hierarchy essential.
Minutes to spare just before,
Two hundred guests about to enter,
Most helpers slipped out of a side door,
Managed to escape.
P.P.S. took another door,
And, too late,
Found himself shoeless, dishevelled,
In the glare of TV arc lights,
Just behind,
President and party!
Startled, irate look from President,
As P.P.S. slunk away.
TV report was well edited.
I wonder whether anyone
Kept the cuttings?
29.Dear Alice
Have thrown ninety-nine per cent
Of my preparations overboard.
Now…Maldivian Style…
Now, time to catch fish,
Ready to fry.
30.Work in Male
Most have two jobs,
Salaries are low, expenses high.
Higher positions expected
To work very hard,
Experts work harder still.
Overtime pay unknown.
Holidays for civil servants,
Only recently introduced.
Lower ranks eg.clerks
And secretaries have
A lazy existence. Whilst those
Higher are weak with exhaustion.
Only way to get a holiday,
Go sick.
Teacher seminars begin at 10.30 pm,
The only time when all are free.
Still expected to work
Next day at 7.30am.
31.No Pavements
No pavements,
Plus giant puddles,
Make any decision
By a newcomer, regarding
On which side to walk,
Very difficult.
Priority rights
Not apparent.
32.The Road
In Male they have
A trial road –
Slabs of cement
With drains.
33. Wedding Invite
Invite to colleague
Manik’s wedding.
The hand of Manik’s bride,
In mine was as limp as
The wings of
A dying butterfly.
Manik and his bride.
34.Wedding Reception
“Actually, about two thirds
Of those invited came.”
“How many were invited?”
“About nine hundred.
My family paid,
Explained Manik.”
Group of wedding guests.
35. Divorce
‘The highest divorce rate
In the world.
Is in Maldives.
Guiness Book of Records’
36.Extravagance
Quick phone call home,
At huge expense,
To explain lack of
Written communication and
To give a phone number –
Father, still alive if not well.
He nearly died of heart failure,
At the sound of my voice,
And lack of pencil……
Rapid exchange of “All rights”,
Before farewells.
Phone officer astounded,
“You only spoke one minute!”
“Yes, very expensive.”
“But minimum call
Is three minutes.”
Astounded!
“But you didn’t tell me!”
37.Maldives a Moslem country
People shift in Male
With the regularity
Of the tide.
To pray to work,
To pray to work,
Five times a day,
To pray
To work, here and there,
But mostly,
To work.
The main Mosque in Male.
The muezzin calls people to prayer five times a day from the minaret.
History of the Maldives and the Divehi language.
38.Divehi Script
Divehi script resembles
My speedy diary writing
Fragmented by the speed
And switched into reverse.
Early schooling.
1985 - JPS Primary School, start of school day.
JPS - Large number of children, efficient organisation.
39.Was
Thrown in
At the deep end,
Was all at sea,
Little old me.
40.Stick Insect
Small boy,
With tufty black hair,
Charismatic smile,
And limbs
Like a stick insect,
Crushed into brogues.
41.Swim
Getting into
The swim of things.
Opening ceremony of
Education workshops,
In an aircraft-sized hangar.
My display and
Chairs of guests,
Come to greet me.
42.Opening Ceremony
Spectacular, grand
Official Opening Ceremony
Of The Workshop.
Guests :
Me – Consultant,
ITE Officials and
Ministry Officials,
School Principals,
Supervisors, Teachers
And
TV Maldives.
In his opening speech
I was complimented by Hameed
On my preparation and experience.
My knees shook like jelly fish.
I clung like a limpet to notes,
Too nervous to read,
And then, I relaxed and spoke,
Of the Workshops to come.
And of my new world in Male,
With fish beneath the sea,
They seemed interested.
Sri Lankan Senior Staff and Maldivian Class Teachers.
Viewing Workshop materials.
43.English TV News
The Angela Rippon of
TV Maldives,
Stumbles her way
Through the passage
Of news in English,
Eyes popping between
Paper and teleprinter.
44.Divehi TV News
Sit, with accompanying
Male passers by,
Glued to TV set,
With camera,
Watching National News,
Awaiting ME ON TELLY!
So intent on getting a good angle
On self that
Miss the shot!
To my outrage and
Entertainment of
Those around….
News not only in Divehi,
But also in English.
Click!
45. Cliick!
Seeing me,
On TV,
Made me,
See me,
Detached,
In a sea,
No ocean of distress.
46.Memory
My memory
Is like the tide,
It comes and goes.
47.Bedside
Bedside listening,
Hindi singing.
Bedside reading,
The Glorious Koran,
Volumes 1 and 2.
48.Dear Sir
No form of title
In Maldivian,
Divehi language.
49. Young Waiter
Sosunge Guesthouse Entrance,
Alongside a huge fish tank,
My table, on it
Environmental Studies Textbook,
Centre of wrapped attention
Of young waiter,
Reading it from left to right,
As in Divehi.
50. Post Haste
Not surprising
Letters take so long
To reach home.
Never any time
To find the Post Office.
51.Old Waiter
Surly old waiter,
Strolls in….
To look around.
To do something practical?
Or…just to look…
About to take my empty cake tin.
“No!” I flip the top. “No!”
Show it’s a practical teaching aid.
“Uh? Ha, ha, ha.”
Cynical laughter.
52. Politics
Politics here reduced to
A different reality.
Not parties fighting,
But individuals,
Manoeuvering their way
Through life’s cycles.
No uniforms, pomp,
Ceremony removed.
Political circumstances
Remain the same,
Yet even more
Clearly exposed,
Mused over by
The abundant young
Of the island,
Ideas wide ranging.
53.Garden
I’ve just seen
A bird, disguised as
A paper clip.
54.Irony
Hameed’s speech at
The Opening Ceremony,
“Miss Lumley has come
Very well prepared
For the Workshop.”
The irony,
I’ve come
Very well prepared
But not for
What they want!
55.Write
Well, all right,
If ever I was worried
About an inability
To speak and write
For public consumption,
Those fears have fled.
Speak mutely on TV
To the nation as
Scribble lesson plans
Furiously at all
Non -teaching
Hours of the day,
In order to share thoughts
With those interested.
56.Water Tanks
Landing stage of
Kurumba island resort,
Awaiting dhoni ride
Back to Male.
Get chatting to
A Nepali water tank
Engineer.
“I’m visiting fifty
Tanks on the outer islands
Tomorrow.”
Abord a dhoni for ride to a resort island on day off.
Relax at the nearest islandresort to Male.
Mooring dhoni back in Male harbour.
57. Not Clowns
“Not ‘clowns’, ‘clones’,” says
My British Council colleague.
“The Sri Lankan Government
Exports a certain type of teacher,
Beautiful saris, beaming smiles,
To Male schools which are
So full of children from
Islands near and far,
To supervise Maldivian
Teachers in training.
58.Priority
“Well, who does get priority
On these sandy roads?”
“Nobody, you just go
Where you want to go
And look out.”
Taxis beeping like
Farting pigs
Seem to terrify all
Into a backdrop.”
59.Guesthouse Aviary
Amidst the squawks
And frantic flying of
Blue, white and yellow
Budgies trapped in
Spacious aviary,
Two yellow budgies,
Bill and coo,
Atop a coconut husk.
60.Stiff
Chairs stand stiff as
Chelsea Pensioners,
On the patio
Of my abode,
Awash with the perfume
Of fly spray over
Pink and purple
Plastic flowers.
61.Aboard Dhoni
Aboard dhoni,
Sit alongside,
Greek sea captain,
Holidaying in Maldives.
Tears come to his eyes,
As I sing an old Greek song,
A memory of holiday past,
As we head for home
Across the sea to Male.
62.Divehi
Divehi sounds
Like a ripple
On a wave,
Except when
It splashes into English.
63.Dinner
Disliked the egg
For dinner at
Sosunge Guest House.
No urge to contact
The Greek captain.
Two requests for sandwiches,
Unheeded in forty minutes.
Mildly mad seek food elsewhere.
Meet WHO Burmese doctor.
Invite for dinner,
In a posh hotel.
Later, wandering home,
Alongside sea wall,
Meet Greek captain,
Cycling. “Hello.”
64.Theme
Theme for Workshop
First five days,
‘Floating and Sinking’
And floating,
I’m still afloat.
65.Calm
Learning to be calm,
Calm as the sea,
In a clear blue
Maldivian lagoon.
66.Intention
After the Workshop
Ends in Male,
Intend…
To have a walk
‘About Male’ holiday.
67.Compass
Come, pass this way.
No, that way.
Constantly getting lost amidst
Male’s white-walled roads.
Should have known
I’d need a compass
To navigate when adrift
Near the Indian Ocean.
68.Yes/No
Mohammed, “No.”
Me, “No papya?”
“Yes….no.”
“Pineapple?”
“Yes….no.”
“Bananas?”
“Yes….no.”
Maybe, I should teach
Him to sing,
‘Yes, we have
No bananas.’
69.Upon Reflection
Another misunderstanding,
Another classic example
Of the Maldivian ability
To state one thing,
With the meaning
Of something else,
Upon reflection.
70.Touching
Greek captain cycles
Past and stops
To chat.
“Each time I return home,
I am a little in love.
Are you beginning
To relax a little
In the afternoons?”
Touching thought.
71.Tied
High tide
Low tide,
Ebb and flow,
Criticism,
Tied to
Opinions of others.
72.Shafia’s Handbag?
“In Male,
Women don’t
Carry handbags.
We don’t need to.
When we want
To comb our hair,
We just go home.”
Shafia in traditional Maldivian dress.
73.Food for Thought
Overheard at a dinner party,
From a German speaking
Limited English,
“Air Lanka didn’t send
The Tristar today.
No fresh veg in the shop,
Many passengers
Stranded.
You’re OK if you’ve got
An on-going ticket.”
74. Death
Hameed’s Daddy died yesterday.
He was ill but very strong
To the end.
He was a very special man.
He had three wives.
The first wife had one child,
But became expired.
Then he married again and
Had Hameed and all that crowd,
Twelve of them altogether,
Two dumb but very clever.
Then that wife expired,
And he took a third wife,
A very young wife,
And with that wife,
He had a child.
She is now three years old.
75.Straight
Maldivians
Don’t like
Not to tell you
What they
Don’t like,
Positive or
Negative,
They’ll tell you
Straight.
76.Receptionist
Sosunge Guest House
Receptionist, Havsa,
Comments,
“What’s the matter?
You always look
So tired?”
77.Mental Block
How on earth
To go and teach
Teachers of Divehi,
How to teach
Their language through
Activity methods when,
I don’t speak, read or write
Their language. And,
The author of the new
Divehi textbook is going
To tell them how to do it
His way, in Divehi. Also,
The Assistant Director of
The Teacher Education Institute,
Is a past master of
The Art of Teaching Divehi
By Practical Methods. And then,
I’ve got to tell them my way,
In English, which, in translation,
Will get confused.
And no-one will ever do
Practical Activity Methods in Divehi,
The English way.
Even in this heat
The mind freezes.
78.Cooking
Sri Lankan speciality,
String hoppers.
A slim noodle knitted into
A little round mat.
Delicious.
79.Extended Family
There are lots of Mummies and Daddies,
In The Maldives.
My Mummy and Daddy,
My husband’s Mummy and Daddy,
My husband’s second wife’s
Mummy and Daddy,
My husband’s third wife’s
Mummy and Daddy,
My child’s Mummy and Daddy.
When Mummy or Daddy dies
There is a big funeral.
80.Wave
A rippling,strippling,
Crash of foaming spray,
White splash into turquoise sea.
81.Maldive Motion
Two pieces of papaya,
On a wave of soda water,
Washed into a waterfall,
Feel so sick.
Triggered by??
Fazhula’s fried cheese ball?
Was having a ball,
At her lunch party.
Sosunge Guest House Room 5 - Sick Room.
82.Old Lady
Hailing me from Sosunge gate.
Obviously wants something, money?
No. Special leaves for my stomach problem.
Smell like Colgate. Toothpaste tea?
83.Suitcases
Mine, overweight ,
With medicine of
All varieties.
Dr Cecilia’s, WHO,
Now empty, apart from,
Stethoscope and
Blood pressure kit.
“I got a free ride
On a boat because
I was a doctor though
I had nothing with me!
Now, I never travel
Without these!”
84.Announcer
Handsome announcer
Hiccups his way through
English version of
TV News.
“He’s a radiographer,”
Says WHO lady,
An Indian doctor.
“He just takes off
Three hours to do this.
And he’s in a band.”
Very multitasking Maldivian.
85.Captain’s Comment
You have been made
So relaxed
By your upbringing
And training
That people come
To rob you.
Fellow Guest at Sosunge leaving for UK, will post my card.
The true colour of the Maldives Islands!
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Apologies for the faded photos, they've been packed away since 1985 but I like them.
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Next Week : Maldives Part 2
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